Attitude of Gratitude

Attitude of Gratitude: "You are enough, just as you are. This moment is enough, just as it is. ~Ralph Marston"

Self-Help Blogs on Squidoo

Self-Help Blogs on Squidoo

Do you know any of these failures?

an article on this self help blog I found...

Subjectivity- the subject object relation

God's Eye View

I had an idea of what I wanted to write about in this post but
upon reading up on what wiki had to say I found this phrase:


hmm, God's eye view

I took E.S.T. in August 1979, There I was exposed to the idea that God is nowhere...
we are 'here' by virtue of us not being anywhere else,
God is no where because he's Everywhere.

This is a lot more than just semantics.

I'm a codependent.

I'm an incest survivor.

I'm an addict.

I came to that conclusion from reading and listening to
John Bradshaw's work. Bradshaw bases much of his work on
Family Systems Theory.

One of the tenants of Bradshaw's work is that as codependents, we're
"Other-centered" we identify ourselves from others, not from ourselves.

For Example:
Let's say Dad is a rager, given to violence...
Dad comes home and we're playing with our toys...toys all over the place.
Our response to Dad entering the room is "Huhhh!!"
Is Dad gonna hit us?
What kinda mood is he in?
I should have picked my toys up, I'm going to get beat...
"Whew!" Dad doesn't notice us, we're notgoing to get beat

This leads us to be "Hyper-vigilant", we become expert in reading others (we'll get our butt beat if we're not careful and develop this skill to a very high degree!!)
and our inner selves are neglected, our inner self is not even on our radar screen.

Bradshaw speaks of co dependent's as human doings not human beings

how do we 'Be'?

The concept of being is foreign to not only codependents but society in general

==========
This article is for informational purposes only.
Please contact a licensed professional in your area
if you are in crisis or require mental health services

David Bruce

Lost most of my website domain names

Checking over the templates of my blogs I see that they're peppered with
links to website domain names I let go.

http://software4yourmind.com
will have to either buy the name back from who ever bought it when I let
it expire (didn't have any money on my credit card when it was time to
renew)
OR.... conjure up a new (similar) name


gonna have to redo that one too... I subcontracted the business out

My best web effort to date, the website that put me on the world map
with 80,000 visitors a year has been gone for a few years now,
http://victimbehavior.com

gonna redo that one in a new incarnation: http://endingvictimbehavior.com

it sure feels good to not be smoking my paychecks up on crack:)

more posts on all of my blogs coming soon

==========
This article is for informational purposes only.
Please contact a licensed professional in your area
if you are in crisis or require mental health services

David Bruce

I'm back

Ok, I"ve been away from the internet for about a year...

been in relapse, is that a way to say it?
I've learned volumes.

Just got my CDL driving record cleaned up...FTA from missing a court day
cleaned up... 6 months ago I got an off road driving job that paid enough
to pay on a MD insurance lapse fine so I can now title a vehicle.

been riding a really nice 18 speed bike roughly 6 miles a day, on my days
off I'm up to 12 miles (Frederick MD has some hills)

now I"ve got my old dream job back- $60K and more importantly my self respect
more posts comming soon
I promise
==========
This article is for informational purposes only.
Please contact a licensed professional in your area
if you are in crisis or require mental health services

David Bruce

victimbehavior.blogspot.com

The religion of atheists- Science

There are a lot, I mean a LOT of people disillusioned with AA style 12 step groups.

Those people are anti religion, anti God... atheists.

John Bradshaw did an audio about religious addiction, in it he spoke of families that the parents were strict, hard line God fearing... and the children rebelled.
Small wonder, I'm of the opinion that the Old testament has built in with it the presupposition that mankind is genetically unable to not be in Ego.

When you're *in Ego* everything you perceive is (and this is a MUST) categorized as "for me" or "against me"... everything revolves around ME.

We are much more than an Ego, but our ego is not about to let you know about that...

Here's another thing about our Ego... it only knows about the present moment as a hypothetical concept, a digitalization, to Ego, the present moment is a theory.

It's genetically incapable of being in the present...

Here, I'll give you an example:

Ego's job (and for this explanation I'm calling our logical, analytical Left Brain synonymous with Ego)Ego's entire job is:

• Probability Estimating


• Checking it's database of every experience you've ever had

If you ask Ego this question:

Do you know what the present moment is?

It will respond, and it has no choice but to do this, it will say something like:

"Wait a minute, we've seen that once before... I'll be right back after I check our database..."

That said, we do need a healthy Ego.. I've written about this on another blog:
http://software4yourmind.com/2006/08/13/ego-is-great-its-good-to-have-one-2/

Ok, enough of that subject... For those who just cant stomache the God stuff in AA or 12 step type programs... fear not

There's a lot of good stuff out there.

I'm not knocking em for being secular, I'm a Christian, perhaps a hybrid newage Christian, but I do beleive.

The url I'm providing below does have some good premises.
For me, the most notable is Save Our Selves opening email to new members says something to the effect of ending ALL our addictions.

Ever been to a AA group parking lot after a meeting?
everyone is (well almost everyone) is smoking cigarettes like a chimney, and consuming copioius quantities of coffee... it's addiction substitution

Here' have at it:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sossaveourselves

more coming

Categories: athiest, AA, addiction, sossaveourselves, ego, software4yourmind




==========
This article is for informational purposes only.
Please contact a licensed professional in your area
if you are in crisis or require mental health services

David Bruce

Some people just cant live with the 12 steps

There are many people who just cant go along with the entire theme of the 12 steps.

Surrender... and Ego, that's why.

If you think you ARE your ego, you're not gonna want to submit to anything other than yourself.

Lemme ask you something...
When you talk to yourself (we all do)... who are you talking to?

the only relationships we have in real time are with ourselves and a higher power.

all vision, once it gets processed by our minds, is in the past.
all sound (sound travels at 760mph at sea level), has to get processed in our auditory senses before we can assimilate it.

even sex, the most intimate bodily sensation... is not in real time
think about this: it's possible to accidentaly touch a hot stove... and it will take several micro seconds for your nervous system to realize you're getting burned.

Surrender is the sticking point
will go over this a lot more

But there are secular recovery processes that work very well. Just because I'm a hybrid Christian doesn't mean the secular stuff works.

Try these if you just can't get with the *program*.
http://rationalrecovery.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sossaveourselves

to these people AA is a religion... they do have a point:
AA was started by a couple of old, white collar professionals who were drunks in Baltimore in the 30's

Categories: senses, real, time, nervous, system, higher, power, saveourselves, AA, surrender

==========
This article is for informational purposes only.
Please contact a licensed professional in your area
if you are in crisis or require mental health services

David Bruce

Software4YourMind.com

Maximum is not Optimum- A.C.O.A's need to burn this into your pyche

As Adult Children of Alcoholics, we need to burn this quote from Gregory Bateson into our collective psyche...

Maximum is NOT Optimum

see Ego is Great, it's good to have one on one of my other blogs.


Technorati Tags

Psyche

ACOA

Gregory Bateson

Maximum is not Optimum

This article is for informational purposes only.
Please contact a licensed professional in your area
if you are in crisis or require mental health services

David Bruce

Hubris, your Ego's primary job

Hubris
Wikiopedia defines Hubris as:

exaggerated pride or self-confidence, often resulting in fatal retribution.

I've been watching the History Channel, Rome's emperors had hubris, they were ultimatley done in by refusing to grant rights to the very Goth's who were merely seeking a small section of the vast Roman Empire for a place of thier own.

The Vikings, the ones that settled Greenland and the first Western explorers of North America had hubris: When the mini ice age began to make it so cold that their livestock froze... well they SAW the inuit's methods of surviving the extreme cold and ignored the eskimos.
The Viking word for the inutit translates to "Little Ugly People".

During the Civil War, the Generals at the War Department rejected the Winchester Repeating Rifle... they said they didn't want the army to have to carry extra ammunition... they thought that the soldiers would waste ammo if they were able to shoot as fast as they could pull the lever...

Your Ego is hubris central...
And if you let it run the whole show... you'll end up like Rome!

for more info on your Ego construct and options for you to use additional mental resources go to my other blogs here:

http://victimbehavior.blogspot.com

Technorati Tags

Hubris

Ego

This article is for informational purposes only.
Please contact a licensed professional in your area
if you are in crisis or require mental health services

I am your disease

Hello...

Just in case you forgot me...I am
your disease. I hate meetings, I hate higher powers. I
hate anyone who has and works a program. To all who
come in contact with me: I wish you suffering and I
wish you death.

Allow me to tell you about
myself. I am the disease of addiction. I am cunning,
baffling, and powerful...I have killed millions; I have
ruined the lives of millions more...and I am
pleased.

I love to catch you by surprise. I love pretending
that I am your friend and lover. I have given you
comfort, haven't I? Wasn't I there when you were lonely?
When you wanted to die, didn't you call on me, and
didn't I answer?

I was there. I love to make you
hurt; I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love to
make you so numb that you can neither hurt nor cry. I
love to help you give up and feel hopeless. When you
can't feel anything at all, that is my true
gratification. And all that I ask from you is long term
suffering and lonely despair.

I've been there for
you always. When things were going right in your
life, you invited me in. You said you didn't deserve
these good things, and I was the only one who agreed
with you. Together, we were able to destroy everything
good in your life.

When things went wrong, I
was there to agree with you about how unfair life is
and how blameless you are for anything that happens
to you. I was the only one who would crawl down into
the slimy paralysis of self-pity and wallow around
with you there.

People don't take me seriously,
and while this wounds my pride, I don't really mind
because it so strongly serves my purpose. People take
strokes serously;heart attacks...diabetes...AIDS, these
they take serously. Fools. Without my help, those
illnesses would not even be possible, for many
people.

I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come
uninvited. You choose whether or not to have me active in
your life. Doesn't that prove how powerful and cunning
I am? So many choose me, over reality and
hope--even while they say they hate me.

But more than
you hate me, I hate all of you who have embraced
recovery. Your refusal to invite me in...your
program...your meetings...your higher power. All of these things
weaken and disgust me, and I can't function in the
manner I am accustomed to. Now, I must lie here quietly,
waiting.

Oh, you don't see me much anymore, but I am
here...and I have all the time in the world to wait for you.
When you only exist, I may live. When you live, I may
only exist. But I am here... And until we meet again
-if we meet again- I wish you misery and death, just
as I always have done and always will
do...

Most Sincerely,
Your disease

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Technorati Tags

Your Disease

Higher Power

This article is for informational purposes only.
Please contact a licensed professional in your area
if you are in crisis or require mental health services

David Bruce

Disclaimer

This blog is for informational purposes only.
Please contact a licensed professional in your area
if you are in crisis or require mental health services

David Bruce

Revamped repair manual blog

Ok, so I've lost the original domain name...
moved all the files,

set up multiple blogs:

http://vicitmbehavior.blogspot.com

http://repairmanual4selfdestrucivebehavior.blogspot.com

http://politicsandvictimbehavior.blogspot.com

http://dumpsterdiving4instantcash.blogspot.com

http://quitsellingim.wordpress.com

edited out all of the references to the domain I no longer have...

well... time to put some fresh content on here!

geez, this has been time consuming... and I've got to move in two weeks, gotta get all this done before I tackle the move.
more later, I promise

David Bruce
Tony Robbins-Total Immersion Tactic:
Edison found 9,999 ways to not make a light bulb,
See what it got him?
(NLP pun)

Unlimited first downs

My take on HP is:

Grace is a gift.

We don't have to earn it.

You can't get 'extra brownie points'.

We all get the same quantity of Grace

Jesus doesn't take off points for past
failures

The only one who does that is US
it's a self inflicted wound.

The total amount of resources Jesus
made available to us at 9 months old,
was still there at 29 years old and
will still be there at 69 years of age.

He doesn't take off points for past failures...
it's a self inflicted wound to do that.

We basically get unlimited first downs.
Every time we take a breath, it's first and ten.

Even if we got sacked for a loss the last
50 or 500 times the ball was snapped.

David Bruce Jr.

Frederick MD

Assign Blame and Keep Score

that's what you're reduced to without functional boundaries

Attract the Right People

Attract the Right People

You can't expect to draw people into your life who are kind, confident and generous if you're thinking and acting in cruel, weak and selfish ways. You must be what it is that you're seeking - that is, you need to put forth what you want to attract.

LandOnYourFeetezine - 07/10/05 - "Avoid Burnout"

LandOnYourFeetezine - 07/10/05 - "Avoid Burnout": "How Your Mind Works

You can avoid career burnout, and reduce stress in all aspects of your life by realigning how you think, and what you think about. Let me explain!

Our thoughts create associations -- the immediate links we make between two ideas or things. (What do you associate with the word

work?

I bet it's not something positive!)

Our associations, in turn, create our beliefs -- the things we accept as true. (What are your beliefs about your career? Are they empowering and positive?)

Our beliefs create our behaviors -- how we automatically react to our environment and the events happening around us. (Are you completely reactive, or do you have control over how we act?)

Our behaviors then create our habits -- our unconscious and predictable patterns of behavior caused by repetition. (Do you react the same way about your career?)

And our habits create our future. (Don't YOU want to be the one to create your future?)"

My Dad just died this morning of cancer

We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it in full.

- Marcel Proust, 1871-1922, French Novelist

My father, David Bruce Sr., died this morning @ 8am

I miss him already, I love you Dad

He was 69, and died of prostate cancer

What is Chaos theory?

What is Chaos theory?

What is Chaos theory and what does it have to do with recovery from ACA/ ACOA Codependency issues?

Ok, Ok... I'm really taking a shot at how God/ 12 step work uses the non rational/ non linear/ intuitive brain...

Websters defines Chaos as:

1. a state of utter confusion or disorder.
2. any confused, disorderly mass.
3. the infinity of space or formless matter supposed to have preceded the
creation of the universe.
4. the nonlinear, deterministic behavior of certain systems, as the appearance
of strange attractors or fractal structure in graphical representations of a
system's evolution.
5. the discipline that studies such behavior.
Webster's Universal College Dictionary. New York: Random House,
Inc. 1997.

Mark of the Beast

Commentary on Living with Stigma

No, this article has nothing to do with fundamentalism or
doomsday prophecies. I do, however, think "the Beast" is an
apt description of mental illness and we, ourselves, are
beasts of burden who must bear the weight of the suffering
it causes.


Whether there is a mark upon us literally as with the young
author of Label Maker, who must wear a Medic-Alert bracelet
with the words MANIC DEPRESSIVE engraved on it, or simply
scars upon our psyches, we live with the stigma of it
everyday. People with mental illness are called "nuts",
"crazy", "cuckoo", "not playing with a full deck", the list
goes on and on. There is a stereotype of those with mental
illness as behaving in bizarre ways, being unkempt and
dirty, and being dangerous to be around. Those with
depression are often further labeled as "lazy" or
"malingering".


http://depression.about.com/cs/stigma/a/markofthebeast.htm

The intuitive mind...

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant.

We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift."

-Albert Einstein

Self Esteem Takes Too Long

How would you know if God is talking to you?

Today's thought is:

Meditation

The first time I heard about meditation, it sounded like a
foreign concept to me. I could understand prayer -- that
was talking to God. It made sense. But people said
meditation was important too. Someone told me, "That's when
you're being quiet, so God can talk to you."

Over the years, I've been exposed to different kinds of
meditation. There's walking meditation, reading out of a
meditation book, and meditation where we sit on the floor
with our legs crossed and eyes closed while chanting om.

I still feel intimidated when other people ask me about
meditation. It's one of those things I don't feel I do
enough, and when I do, I have a lingering sense that I'm
not doing it right. But if you ask me whether I try to
spend time quieting myself, getting centered, becoming
relieved of my own tiresome, worrisome, obsessive thoughts
each day, the answer is absolutely yes.

I started my meditation practice by reading daily out of a
little black book called Twenty-Four Hours a Day. After
spending several years with that, I switched to God
Calling.

As time went on, I began to study different, more
formalized practices. The martial art I study, aikido, is
considered a walking and moving meditation. It's also
considered a spiritual martial art. Meditation practice is
part of training. As a result of that art, I learned to sit
on the floor, with legs crossed and eyes shut, and be quiet
for a while. In the beginning, five minutes was about my
limit fro sitting still. After that, I'd start opening my
eyes and peeking around the room to see what other people
were doing.

Later on, I added yoga to my repertoire of meditative
practices. It's a workout, but it's also
spiritually-centering and includes meditation. I was
intimidated for years about trying yoga. It was another one
of those things I was certain I couldn't do well enough. I
thought it was one of those things for other people, but
not for me. Eventually I found myself in a class. I found
people of all age groups stretching, trying to hold poses,
doing the best they could.

I've sat in the pyramids of Egypt and meditated. I've sat
next to the Dead Sea and the Sea of Galilee with eyes
closed, trying to be quiet. I've sat next to the sacred
Mount Kailesh in Tibet, cross-legged, eyes closed, holding
the pose for almost an hour. Sometimes when I close my
eyes. I pray. Sometimes I try to focus on a meditative
thought. Usually I try to focus on breathing and being as
still as I can.

I'm not sure that it matters where or how we meditate, or
whether we cross our legs, chant om, or read an idea out of
a book. The important idea with meditation is this: Be
still so we can hear God




52 Weeks of Conscious Contact: Meditations for Connecting with God, Self and Others